been feeling lonely since yesterday. i don't know why.

but today i understand why.

is it just me or my feelings that sensitive to things that will happen?

recently i dreamt my parents were drowned in a flood. funny if you tell me. but try having that dream. and imagine you're all alone. no relatives no nothing at all. would it still be a joke to you?

went to my mum's sis house just now. apparently she has diabetes and couldn't get up from her bed, needed help to get up even though it wasn't that successful as we couldn't even get her up. almost bed-ridden from the way i saw it. her feet was black looking rotten-like, which makes it more heart-wrenching. and she cried about things and telling my mother things like she's gonna die anytime.

i wanted to cry so much. but yet i couldn't. this is life. if you have to go, you go.

i wish i didn't have to feel this lonely...

where are you when i need you most? where are the promises you'll always be here for me? where have you gone in my time of need? i've always been there when you needed me, but where are you when i need you now. where?